Recently, there is an article published in Straits Times, 26 May 2009, relating to child abuse. The abuser who plead guilty a year ago was sentenced to 12 months jail on Tuesday.
He abused his 2 year old daughter by dripping hot wax on her as well as clipping the toddler's nipples and private parts with clothes pegs. He then move on to hang her from the ceiling by tying her hands to one of his wife's night gown.
When I read this article, I was astonished to why a grown man who is able to think logically would perform such a violent action to his daughter. I wondered if sentencing him to 12 months jail would justify the amount of trauma he had implicated on his daughter. I felt very much disgusted by his actions and question why any father would abuse his daughter just because she wet herself.
Furthermore, this 2 year old girl has urinary incontinence. Shouldn't the father then take up responsibility and be more patient towards his 2 year old daughter?
I would like to consider a reason which may lead to his violent action. Studies have linked touch deprivation to depression, alienation and violence. Could this be a reason to the violence which he has implied onto his daughter due to a lack of haptics when the father himself was young?
Since haptics are a basic need to people because it gives us comfort and love. Therefore, when there is a lack of haptics in the father himself, it might have lead to him suffering from depression, causing him to become violent, thus abusing his daughter.
However, does the possibility of the father being a victim himself gives him a reason to abuse his daughter? Perhaps the father was abusing his authority, domineering his position as a father and expressing his power in an unwanted manner since the 2 year old is in a helpless situation and was not able to stop the violence. Yet, the mother of this 2 year old was unable to help her vulnerable daughter when she witness this scene. Although the portion relating to the 2 year old's mother was not mention in depth, I assume that she was unable to stop this act of violence which lead to her decision to move out with her 4 children.
In this context, haptics certainly do play an important role. Either in which the father may be deprived of touch or probably in the manner in which he was trying to express his power. I certainly hope that these negative haptics do not continue. Instead, parents should make use of touch to portray loving and comfort to their children.
I do agree that haptics plays a big part in ones life. I'm very sure that someone treated with care and concern will never do such stuff. Thankfully the guy was caught, but i do feel his sentences do not really do much justice to him and the little girl.
ReplyDeleteYes, i do share your views. Touch indeed play an important part in everyone's life; from a mom expressing her love by kissing her child to a good friend showing his/her concern by giving a hug. Indeed these haptics allow us to sense their love and concern.
ReplyDeleteI think coming into modern days context, there are many kinds of abuse in a family. For example, children nowadays might be the ones abusing the parents instead. Of course I am not talking about children ranging the ages below 10, but those going through their teenage period.
ReplyDeleteYes, there are many types of abuse going on these days. Like spousal abuse, it used to the the husbands abusing the wives; however, nowadays, it is more common to hear news on the wives abusing the husbands. This is the change in society, where the media might also be another factor causing the switching in roles. For instance, movies nowadays includes many violent scene. Even video games which children nowadays engage in consist of many violent scene.
ReplyDeleteyes haptics play a very important role in our lives and our developments. regarding the father that went to jail for his abuse...if word go out in prison about why he's there, I have a feeling he's gonna get alot haptics from angry prisoners who feel the outrage we do.
ReplyDeleteAbuse is a serious problem that is still present in socially advanced and complex societies. And i agree with julius, it's definitely a lose-lose situation when a parent is convicted for child abuse - the child would lose a parent to the prison and the parent would be unable to make amends once away from the child (aside from going through therapy/corrective conditioning while in jail).
ReplyDeleteThen again, who are these angry prisoners to judge his actions? I mean, sometimes, we're in no situation to judge others for their behavior and actions as well. Firstly, I think all of us do make mistakes, sometimes unable to curb our anger. Then again, we may be more fortunate to have a family who has given us the haptics we should receive to help with our growth. Furthermore, we probably don't really know the reason to why the abusive father acted in this manner since the media would most definitely not interview him or allow him to explain his actions, but just report the matter from a 3rd party point of view.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, it's really hard to make a judgement. Continuing from what commsboy had commented, I feel that there are many areas to consider when making a decision on sending the father to prison. Yes, the father will then be unable to make amendments, and the child will lose her father in this situation; however, is the decision of sending the father to prison really a good idea? The child may not be able to decide right now on the matters of what's best for her. So, will she rather have the company of her dad by her side as she grows or to allow others to punish her father what they deem right?
ReplyDeleteI think you may be right on the matter where the daughter not given a chance to decide on what she wants, having third parties to decide for her, and usually the case of punishing the father. well, many situations have factors that are hard to compromise. so either way, we usually hope for the best.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, I think that the children are always the ones who suffer most. First of all, they don't usually get to make their own decisions. Secondly, if the decision somehow causes them to lose their one of their parent - or worst both, it'll some way or another take out a huge amount of them and they'll once in awhile, feel the emptiness in them, although they may look as though they're living fine with it as they grow older.
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